WANT TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY? CHECK THESE!

1. At lunch time, sit In your parked car With sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice!

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf In The coffee maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

5. In the memo field of all Your checks, write ‘For Marijuana’

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with a serious face.

8. Specify that your Drive-through order is ‘To Go’.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.

11. When the money comes out the ATM, scream ‘I Won!!! I Won!!!’

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ‘Run for your lives!! They’re loose!!’

13. Tell Your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is!

Sean “Diddy” Combs feels that he was merely giving Chris Brown shelter from the storm. While being careful to note that he does “not think it’s right for anybody to hit anybody,” the hip-hop mogul said Tuesday on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that he offered up his Miami Beach mansion as a refuge for Brown and Rihanna last month as a favor to a friend.

“It was a dark time for them, and I was there as more of a support,” Combs explained. Rihanna and Brown spent some quiet time at Combs’ Star Island estate at the end of February, what was believed to be their first reunion since Brown’s February 8 arrest for allegedly attacking Rihanna in his rental car after the pair attended a pre-Grammy party.

The Internet is abuzz with the latest Miley Cyrus screw-up; At Hollywood’s Millions of Milkshakes (where she has a shake named after her—it’s called a Miley Shake!) She parked in a handicapped spot, while there to get her treat!

Miley’s taking a lot of heat from everyone, but wait, the star has just revealed she has a heart condition called tachycardia. Though it’s not dangerous, “There is never a time onstage when I’m not thinking about my heart,” Miley has revealed.

Dept Refinance Companies
With credit card companies charging 20%+ interest on credit card balances, many are struggling to make the mininum payments. These companies can consolidate credit card debt into a payments at a much lower interest rate.

Cheaper Car Insurance
Everyone likes to save money. Car insurance is one place that many can easily save 100s.

Preforeclosure Negotiators
These are people that help home owners stop foreclosure. They basically setup a shortsale with the banks to save the homeowners credit and get the house on the market at a price that will sell. These companies do very well during a recession.

Military Recruiters.
The war on terrorism is not over yet. Unemployment is going a lot higher, and that means there will be lots of unemployed young men looking for purpose.

Rehab Centers
When times get tough, many people turn to liquor and drugs as a way of coping. With this increase in drugs and crime will come the addicts who can’t break the addiction. Rehab Centers want to find these addicts and help them.

Temp Agencies
Many are and will becoming unemployed in the next few years. Temp Agencies help match workers with jobs. They are always looking for more workers to fit specific skill sets.

Gamers Stores
Since it costs too much to go to a movie, or dinner. Many Single Males have a complete addiction to video games. Video Game rentals and subscription plans can be a very lucrative business.