Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the View’s resident conservative cohost announced on air Thursday morning that she and former football-playing hubby Tim Hasselbeck are expecting their third child together. “We are thankful for such great news and will begin planning our zone defense strategy immediately,” she said.

While there’s no word yet on the pending tot’s sex, Hasselbeck said she is due in August. “We were thoroughly happy with the surprise of it,” she added. “I didn’t even know for two months.”

What do you get for the fair-haired girl who has everything? This aggressively pink Keyboard for Blondes. Outfitted with the latest technology and lamest of stereotypes, for a mere $50, you too can own this openly misogynistic input device. Quoth the marketing copy:

The all-pink keyboard swaps out standard keys with funnier, dumber key names. The backspace key now says “Oops!” and the entire row of function keys spells out USELESS KEYS. Hit the “$” sign and you get the sound of a cash register clinking.

Blondes can even get a little technical and use special keys that type out “OMG,” “ALI” (Absolutely Love It!) or “XOXO.” My favorite? The caps lock key now says: “Warning! size XXL letters.”

Who says geeks don’t understand women? Oh, right. Women do.

To open a sealed envelope – Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.

Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.

For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won’t refreeze. (wish I had known this for the last 40 years!)

To remove old wax from a glas s candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.

Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).

Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.

Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. Now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened” this way!

Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! (Now, where to put the body?) LOL

Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don’t wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.

Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.

Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.

Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning .

To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm! Corn meal works too.

To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top. No soap if cast iron

Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won’t be any stains.

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s natural sweetness

Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Don’t throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces ……. Left over wine? What’s that?

To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.

Ants, ants, ants everywhere … Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march. See for yourself. (This really works, I did it)

Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.

When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer….. … Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China .

Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.

Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of & Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

It’s a video of President Barack Obama stopping by the White House Briefing Room just to say hello to the White House Press Corps. At the 3:20 mark of the video, one of the reporters dares to ask the President a question, and Obama was clearly not happy. He tells them, “I can’t end up visiting you guys if every time I come down here I get grilled.”

It’s more than just the title of the song that Beyoncé croons to President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama while they dance—it’s also what many Americans are feeling about the election of a new president.

And after a full day of making history, the first couple still had much to do: They had plans to visit 10 inaugural balls, featuring such A-list entertainers as Kanye West, Mariah Carey, will.i.am, Faith Hill, Alicia Keys and many more.

Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin took to the dais and belted out, for all the world to hear, “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” in honor of the 44th president of the United States’ history-making entrance into the White House this morning.

And while her less-than-understated bedazzled bow hat threatened to upstage the legendary singer, the performance went off without a pitchy hitch.

Franklin’s tune was one of just two performances in the lead-up to Obama taking the oath of office. She was followed by a more classic performance of the Shaker hymn “Simple Gifts,” arranged by John Williams and played by Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Anthony McGill and Gabriella Montero.

1. Harrison Ford, “Air Force One” (1997)
2. Morgan Freeman, “Deep Impact” (1998)
3. Michael Douglas, “The American President” (1995)
4. Bill Pullman, “Independence Day” (1996)
5. Kevin Kline, “Dave” (1993)
6. Dennis Quaid, “American Dreamz” (2006)
7. Bruce Greenwood, “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” (2003)
8. James Cromwell, “The Sum of All Fears” (2002)
9. Jack Nicholson, “Mars Attacks” (1996)
10. Jeff Bridges, “The Contender” (2000)

TOP FIVE REASONS WHY A RABBIT WOULD MAKE A LOUSY PRESIDENT

1. Something just wrong about President hopping on to Air Force One
2. You thought we had an “intern under every desk” problem last time…
3. Secretary of Defense Elmer Fudd is so hard to understand
4. New currency: carrots
5. New federal law makes duck season all year long

TOP FIVE REASONS WHY A CAT WOULD NEVER BECOME PRESIDENT
1. Doesn’t really care if you vote for him or not
2. Oval office doesn’t have a corner for the litter box
3. Secret service would only protect after the first 8 lives were used up
4. Risk of coughing up furball during “State of the Union” address
5. During debate, the dog opponent keeps chasing him

TOP FIVE REASONS AN ELEPHANT COULD NEVER BE PRESIDENT
1. Even if he was a Democrat, he’d still look like a Republican
2. Trunk always in the way at state dinners
3. Prime minister of India always wants to sit on his back
4. During state of the union speech, is distracted by mouse
5. Constant peanut breath

IN EMAILING AND TALKING WITH FRIENDS, MOST OF THEM HAVE BEEN HIT BY IT TOO IN RECENT MONTHS THEY TOLD ME, SO JUST BE ON GUARD, AND I HOPE YOU STAY CLEAR OF IT. YOU LITERALLY ARE FLAT ON YOUR BACK FOR DAYS, NOT WANTING TO EAT AND DRAINED OF ENERGY.

BUT I’M BACK FEELING A LOT BETTER TODAY, AND GETTING MY ENERGY BACK FOR THE WEEKEND ON K-EARTH, AND CATCHING UP ON MY NATIONAL SYNDICATION. I DID MANAGE TO DO MY DAILY 4 HOUR NATIONAL SHOW THIS WEEK FROM MY HOME STUDIO, BUT IT ABSOLUTELY LEFT ME WASTED, WHICH PROBABLY DIDN’T HELP MY RECOVERY TIMETABLE.

LET ME KICK OFF MY RETURN WITH A PICTURE OF A REAL “LIVE’ AMERICAN HERO, CHESLEY “SULLY” SULLENBERGER, THE U.S. AIRWAYS PILOT BEING HAILED AS “THE HERO OF THE HUDSON” AFTER LANDING A DISABLED FLIGHT 1549 FROM NEW YORK TO NORTH CAROLINA SAFELY IN THE HUDSON RIVER SAVING 155 LIVES!

The former Air Force fighter pilot remained cool, calm and collected both before and after successfully ditching his US Airways flight into the Hudson River. “That pilot is a stud,” said one police source. “After the crash, he was sitting there in the ferry terminal, wearing his hat, sipping his coffee and acting like nothing happened.”

Sullenberger, 57, looks more like Clark Kent than Superman: He’s balding, slightly built, with a thin mustache. But he emerged from the slowly sinking fuselage of Flight 1549 as one of Gotham’s brightest heroes, able to land engineless airplanes in a single try.

“Brace for impact,” he warned the passengers before ditching the plane, a voice of lone calm in the seconds before they crashed. Sullenberger wasn’t done once his plane was down. He undid his safety belt and walked the length of the plane to make sure all the passengers were safely outside, Mayor Bloomberg said.

Once finished, Sullenberger turned around and made a second pass as the plane steadily took on water – and only then did he finally exit. “He did a masterful job of landing the plane in the river and then making sure everybody got out,” said an admiring Bloomberg, who is a licensed pilot.

John and Jane Garcia, neighbors of Sullenberger in Danville, California, weren’t at all taken aback by the pilot’s utter nonchalance. “If you met Sully, you’d understand,” said John. “You’d say, ‘Yep, that’s Sully.’”

“It’s not surprising,” agreed Jane. “He’s a great guy.” However, family friend Jim Walberg said being called a hero isn’t likely to please Sullenberger. “Sure, he’s a hero, but he’s also a humble man,” said Walberg. “‘Hero’ isn’t a name he’ll take to very easily.”

One of the first rescuers on the scene said Sullenberger seemed impervious to the chaos around him. “He looked absolutely immaculate,” the rescuer said. “He looked like David Niven in an airplane uniform. He looked unruffled. His uniform was sharp. You could see him walking down the aisles making sure everybody got out.”

Sullenberger maintained his calm facade in a phone call to his wife, fitness expert Lorrie Sullenberger, after his death-defying heroics.

“When he called me, he said, ‘There’s been an accident,’” she told CNN. “At first I thought it was something minor. But then he told me the circumstances, and my body started shaking and I rushed to get our daughters out of school.”

SOME NEWLY RELEASED VIDEO OF THE ACTUAL PLANE HITTING THE HUDSON!

OFFICIAL COAST GUARD SECURITY VIDEO OF THE PLANE LANDING ON THE WATER. YOU’LL SEE IT COME FROM THE LEFT ABOUT 1:57 INTO THE VIDEO PLAYING!

CHECK OUT THE OTHER HOT SHOW-BIZ “BUZZ” IN THE CHARLIE TUNA “BUZZ” LINK AT http://www.charlietuna.com/buzz/index.php

T-Mobile has pulled its commercials featuring the former NBA star and on-hiatus TNT game analyst in light of his recent DUI bust. “Given the recent developments, for the time being, we’ve replaced TV ads featuring Mr. Barkley with more general-market advertising,” read a statement released by the mobile carrier, per the New York Post. “As he works through his personal matters, we will evaluate where to go from here.”

Barkley, who’s been voted one of the 50 greatest NBA players of all time, was arrested early on December 31 in Scottsdale, Arizona, on suspicion of drunken driving after officers allegedly spotted him running a stop sign.

Tests ultimately showed that his blood-alcohol level was 0.149 percent, according to the Gilbert Police Department. Last week TNT announced that its outspoken, Emmy-winning commentator was taking a leave of absence.

Hi Charlie,

I’ve put together a little KHJ Boss Radio tribute blog and if you’d like to see the posts related to yourself, check out the following link:

http://93khj.blogspot.com/search/label/Charlie%20Tuna

There are all 32 of the surveys you appeared on from 1967-71 (well, 31 plus a horse!) as well as one promo Sales Department item.

Hope things are going well for yourself.

Regards,

Ray Randolph

GO AHEAD & CLICK ON THE LINK! I PROMISE YOU CAN’T STOP IF YOU START!

http://majman.net/fly_loader.html

The Television Critics Association 2009 Winter Press Tour got a surprise announcement: “Patrick Swayze checked himself into the hospital this morning for observation after coming down with pneumonia.” The pneumonia is said to be a complication of chemotherapy treatments for Swayze’s cancer.

Swayze was scheduled to join costar Travis Fimmel and producers in presenting A&E’s new drama The Beast to critics.

According to A&E reps, Swayze specifically asked that the show go on and that they pass along a message from him about how “unbelievably proud” he is of the work they’ve done so far on The Beast.

Earlier this week, Swayze appeared in an interview with Barbara Walters and discussed his battle with pancreatic cancer. “I’m going through hell,” he said. Swayze also acknowledged to Walters that he might have just two years to live, but he would keep on working as long as he could.

Swayze learned of his diagnosis four hours after The Beast was picked up by A&E. After discussions with producers and the network, everybody decided to move forward with the series. At today’s panel, executive producer William Rotko saluted Swayze’s grit.

Despite his obvious agony (Swayze refused to take painkillers while working), he missed only one day during The Beast’s entire 13-episode shoot.

“When we found out he had cancer, we went out to his house. He was very up front with us. He came up to me and stood right next to me and said, ‘It’s gonna be OK. I’m gonna be OK.’ He’s got cancer, and he’s telling me we’re gonna be OK. And that carries through the show.”

Cheryl Holdridge, who grew up a Mouseketeer and graduated to roles on Leave It to Beaver, My Three Sons, Bewitched and The Dick Van Dyke Show, has died.

The actress, who appeared on The Mickey Mouse Club from 1956 to 1959, succumbed to lung cancer at her L.A.-area home, per the Los Angeles Times. She was 64.

The official Golden Globes website may have accidentally revealed yesterday that Anne Hathaway will take home the statuette for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama. There was a star published next to the Rachel Getting Married nominee’s name, which indicates the winner.

The snafu disappeared shortly after popping up, Just Jared reported. “In the process of preparing for Sunday’s Golden Globe Awards, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association web team inadvertently marked a nominee as a winner,” read a statement posted yesterday on the Globes site. “The mistake was immediately corrected.”

When Hathaway was named Best Actress in a tie with Meryl Streep at last night’s Critics’ Choice Awards, VH1 cameras caught Angelina Jolie giving an icy stare during Hathaway’s acceptance speech.

Jolie, along with Kate Winslet and Kristin Scott Thomas, was also a nominee. Sunday, Jolie and Hathaway are up against each other once more for the Golden Globes trophy.

24. Yellow Pages
This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry. Much like newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their various digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages (IYPs), to local search engines and combination search/listing services like Reach Local and Yodel Factors like an
acceleration of the print ‘fade rate’ and the looming recession will contribute to the onslaught. One research firm predicts the falloff in usage of newspapers and print Yellow Pages could even reach 10% this year — much higher than the 2%-3% fade rate seen in past years.

23. Classified Ads
The Internet has made so many things obsolete that newspaper classified ads might sound like just another trivial item on a long list. But this is one of those harbingers of the future that could signal the end of civilization as we know it. The argument is that if newspaper classifieds are replaced by free online listings at sites like Craigslist.org and Google Base, then newspapers are not far behind them.

22. Movie Rental Stores
While Netflix is looking up at the moment, Blockbuster keeps closing store locations by the hundreds. It still has about 6,000 left across the world, but those keep dwindling and the stock is down considerably in 2008, especially since the company gave up a quest of Circuit City. Movie Gallery, which owned the Hollywood Video brand, closed up shop earlier this year. Countless small video chains and mom-and-pop stores have given up the ghost already.

21. Dial-up Internet Access
Dial-up connections have fallen from 40% in 2001 to 10% in 2008. The combination of an infrastructure to accommodate affordable high speed Internet connections and the disappearing home phone have all but pounded the final nail in the coffin of dial-up Internet access.

20. Phone Land lines
According to a survey from the National Center for Health Statistics, at the end of 2007, nearly one in six homes was cell-only and, of those homes that had land lines, one in eight only received calls on their cells.

19. Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs
Maryland’s icon, the blue crab, has been fading away in Chesapeake Bay. Last year Maryland saw the lowest harvest (22 million pounds) since 1945. Just four decades ago the bay produced 96 million pounds. The population is down 70% since 1990, when they first did a formal count. There are only about 120 million crabs in the bay and they think they need 200 million for a sustainable population. Over-fishing, pollution, invasive species and global warming get the blame.

18. VCRs
For the better part of three decades, the VCR was a best-seller and staple in every American household until being completely decimated by the DVD, and now the Digital Video Recorder (DVR). In fact, the only remnants of the VHS age at your local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack are blank VHS tapes these days. Pre-recorded VHS tapes are largely gone and VHS decks are practically nowhere to be found. They served us so well.

17. Ash Trees
In the late 1990s, a pretty, iridescent green species of beetle, now known as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood products imported from eastern Asia. In less than a decade, its larvae have killed millions of trees in the Midwest, and continue to spread. They’ve killed more than 30 million ash trees in southeastern Michigan alone, with tens of millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana. More than 7.5 billion ash trees are currently at risk.

16. Ham Radio
Amateur radio operators enjoy personal (and often worldwide) wireless communications with each other and are able to support their communities with emergency and disaster communications if necessary, while increasing their personal knowledge of electronics and radio theory. However, proliferation of the Internet and its popularity among youth has caused the decline of amateur radio. In the past five years alone, the number of people holding active ham radio licenses has dropped by 50,000, even though Morse Code is no longer a requirement.

15. The Swimming Hole
Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the past. ‘20/20′ reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High Falls, NY, are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they’ll sue. And that’s exactly what happened in Seattle. The city of Bellingham was sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming hole in Whatcom Falls Park. As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect more swimming holes to post ‘Keep out!’ signs.

14. Answering Machines
The increasing disappearance of answering machines is directly tied to No 20 our list — the decline of land lines. According to USA Today, the number of homes that only use cell phones jumped 159% between 2004 and 2007. It has been particularly bad in New York; since 2000, land line usage has dropped 55%. It’s logical that as cell phones rise, many of them replacing traditional land lines, that there will be fewer answering machines.

13. Cameras That Use Film
It doesn’t require a statistician to prove the rapid disappearance of the film camera in America. Just look to companies like Nikon, the professional’s choice for quality camera equipment. In 2006, it announced that it would stop making film cameras, pointing to the shrinking market — only 3% of its sales in 2005, compared to 75% of sales from digital cameras and equipment.

12. Incandescent Bulbs
Before a few years ago, the standard 60-watt (or, yikes, 100-watt) bulb was the mainstay of every U.S. home. With the green movement and all-things-sustainable energy crowd, the Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb (CFL) is largely replacing the older, Edison-era incandescent bulb. The EPA reports that 2007 sales for Energy Star CFLs nearly doubled from 2006, and these sales accounted for approximately 20 percent of the U.S. light bulb market. And according to USA Today, a new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next four to 12 years.

11. Stand-Alone Bowling Alleys
BowlingBalls. US claims there are still 60 million Americans who bowl at least once a year, but many are not bowling in stand-alone bowling alleys. Today most new bowling alleys are part of facilities for all types or recreation including laser tag, go-karts, bumper cars, video game arcades, climbing walls and glow miniature golf. Bowling lanes also have been added to many non-traditional venues such as adult communities, hotels and resorts, and gambling casinos.

10. The Milkman
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 1950, over half of the milk delivered was to the home in quart bottles, by 1963, it was about a third and by 2001, it
represented only 0.4% percent. Nowadays most milk is sold through supermarkets in gallon jugs. The steady decline in home-delivered milk is blamed, of course, on the rise of the supermarket, better home refrigeration and longer-lasting milk. Although some milkmen still make the rounds in pockets of the U.S., they are certainly a dying breed.

9. Hand-Written Letters
In 2006, the Radicati Group estimated that, worldwide, 183 billion e-mails were sent each day. Two million each second. By November of 2007, an estimated 3.3
billion Earthlings owned cell phones, and 80% of the world’s population had access to cell phone coverage. In 2004, half-a-trillion text messages were sent, and the number has no doubt increased exponentially since then. So where amongst this gorge of gabble is there room for the elegant, polite hand-written letter?

8. Wild Horses
It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were roaming free within the United States. In 2001, National Geographic News estimated that the wild horse population had decreased to about 50,000 head. Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that there are 32,000 free roaming horses in ten Western states, with half of them residing in Nevada. The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number of free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia.

7. Personal Checks
According to an American Bankers Assoc. report, a net 23% of consumers plan to decrease their use of checks over the next two years, while a net 14% plan to increase their use of PIN debit. Bill payment remains the last stronghold of paper-based payments — for the time being. Checks continue to be the most commonlyused bill payment method, with 71% of consumers paying at least one recurring bill per month by writing a check. However, on a bill-by-bill basis, checks account for only 49% of consumers’ recurring bill payments (down from 72% in 2001 and 60% in 2003).

6. Drive-in Theaters
During the peak in 1958, there were more than 4,000 drive-in theaters in this country, but in 2007 only 405 drive-ins were still operating. Exactly zero new drive-ins have been built since 2005. Only one reopened in 2005 and five reopened in 2006, so there isn’t much of a movement toward reviving the closed ones.

5. Mumps & Measles
Despite what’s been in the news lately, the measles and mumps actually, truly are disappearing from the United States. In 1964, 212,000 cases of mumps were reported in the U.S. By 1983, this figure had dropped to 3,000, thanks to a vigorous vaccination program. Prior to the introduction of the measles vaccine,
approximately half a million cases of measles were reported in the U.S. annually, resulting in 450 deaths. In 2005, only 66 cases were recorded.

4. Honey Bees
Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the honey bee. Very scary. ‘Colony Collapse Disorder,’ or CCD, has spread throughout the U.S. and Europe over the past few years, wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many beekeepers — and along with it, their livelihood.

3. News Magazines and TV News
While the TV evening newscasts haven’t gone anywhere over the last several decades, their audiences have. In 1984, in a story about the diminishing returns of the evening news, the New York Times reported that all three network evening-news programs combined had only 40.9 million viewers. Fast forward to 2008, and what they have today is half that.

2. Analog TV
According to the Consumer Electronics Association, 85% of homes in the U.S. get their television programming through cable or satellite providers. For the remaining 15% — or 13 million individuals — who are using rabbit ears or a large outdoor antenna to get their local stations, change is in the air. If you are one of these people you’ll need to get a new TV or a converter box in order to get the new stations which will only be broadcast in digital.

1. The Family Farm
Since the 1930’s, the number of family farms has been declining rapidly. According to the USDA, 5.3 million farms dotted the nation in 1950, but this number had declined to 2.1 million by the 2003 farm census (data from the 2007 census hasn’t yet been published). Ninety-one percent of the U.S. FARMS are small Family Farms

Babu Sassi, a fearless young man from southern India is the cult hero of Dubai’s army of construction workers.

Known as the “Indian on the top of the world”, Babi is the crane operator at the world’s tallest building — the 819-metre Burj Dubai. His office, the cramped crane cab perched on top of the Burj, is also his home — apparently it takes too long to come down to the ground each day to make it worthwhile. When the building is completed, its elevators will be the world’s fastest.

Stories about his daily dalliance with death are discussed in revered terms by Dubai’s workers. Some say he has been up there for more than a year, others whisper that he’s paid 30,000 dirhams ($8,168) a month compared with the average wage of 800 dirhams a month. All agree he’s worth it.