ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE OF OURS, READ ON!

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese..
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England .
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
Grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns
Down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop?

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS, GERMS.

A national furor over race relations paused Thursday as President Barack Obama, in a shady spot on the White House lawn near the Rose Garden, sat down for beers with a black Harvard professor and the white police officer who arrested him two weeks ago.

In a surprise move, Professor Gates drank Sam Adams Light beer — not Red Stripe — in his meeting with the president and Sgt. Crowley. Also unexpected — Vice President Joe Biden joined the threesome and drank Buckler, a non-alcoholic beer. President Obama went with a Bud Light and Sgt. Crowley has a Blue Moon.

For the two men who raised mugs of beer with the president — both of whom wore suits and ties and sat stiffly in what was meant to be a casual moment — the discussion of race and policing will go on.

The arresting officer, Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge, Mass., police, said afterward that he had already discussed racial issues with the professor, African-American studies scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr., and that the two had set plans to talk further.

But for Obama, the most anticipated happy hour in recent memory may be little more than a timeout in a debate over racial profiling and other racially charged issues.

Obama has tried gradually over the past week to ease the controversy, most notably by saying he regretted his choice of words and setting up what became known as a “beer summit.” The get-together Thursday had been described by the White House as a “teachable moment.”

A small group of camera people and reporters was permitted to witness the meeting only for about 30 seconds and from about 50 feet away, showing Obama, in shirt sleeves, seated at an oval able with the now-famous adversaries.

Gates and Crowley appeared to talk seriously, and at one point, Obama laughed heartily. Joining the three was Vice President Joe Biden, also in shirt sleeves. Crowley said later that no apologies were exchanged between him and Gates. The police sergeant called the discussion Thursday “cordial and productive” but declined to offer specifics.

Gates struck a calming tone in a statement to the Web site The Root. “The national conversation over the past week about my arrest has been rowdy, not to say tumultuous and unruly,” he said. “But … there’s reason to hope that many people have emerged with greater sympathy for the daily perils of policing, on the one hand, and for the genuine fears about racial profiling, on the other hand.”

In a written statement, Obama said he was thankful to Gates and Crowley for “joining me at the White House this evening for a friendly, thoughtful conversation. Even before we sat down for the beer, I learned that the two gentlemen spent some time together listening to one another, which is a testament to them,” Obama said. “I am hopeful that all of us are able to draw this positive lesson from this episode.”

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Winners can choose to challenge one of five champions: Luc Robitaille, Tito Ortiz, Matt Kenseth, Sugar Ray Leonard or Annie Duke.

Entries will be accepted from July 29 through August 28, and the winners will be notified in early September.

Participants can enter online at www.boldchallenges.com, or by texting the champion’s name to 34343 (for example, text Luc to 34343). Additional details and a special offer from San Manuel Indian Bingo & Casino are available at participating Del Taco locations.

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Who can resist the chance to challenge one of the following?

- Recently selected for the Hockey Hall of Fame, Luc Robitaille is the highest scoring left wing in NHL history and the all-time Los Angeles Kings leader in goals after playing with the team for 14 years.

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- Named “Fighter of the Decade of the 1980’s,” Sugar Ray Leonard holds an impressive record of 36-3-1.

- Annie Duke, professional poker player, entered her first World Series of Poker (WSOP) in 1994 under the direction of her brother and successful poker professional, Howard Lederer. Duke won her first champion’s bracelet for the 2004 WSOP Omaha High-Low Split.

Robitaille, Leonard and Duke also appear in the new San Manuel’ TV campaign called “How far is fun?”

Note: You must be 21 or older to enter this promotion and the San Manuel Casino.

HERE’S THE LINK TO SIGN UP BELOW!

http://boldchallenges.com/

More than five months after his alleged assault on then-girlfriend Rihanna, Chris Brown is finally speaking out.

“Since February, my attorney has advised me not to speak out, even though, ever since the incident, I wanted to publicly express my deepest regret and accept full responsibility,” he says in a video posted on his YouTube page. “I felt it was time that you heard directly from me that I am sorry.”

Soccer star David Beckham returned to the L.A. Galaxy Sunday night after a five-month, fan-resented loan to A.C. Milan. It wasn’t pretty as number 23 was jeered for nearly the entire duration of his 75 minutes of game time and was, at one point, even challenged to a fight by a fan in the stands.

To make matters more tense, the rival team for the exhibition game was none other than A.C. Milan.

Before cable television and satellite TV, There were just three TV networks, three nightly newscasts, and one Walter Cronkite. Cronkite, TV’s most famed and influential news anchor, died Friday after a long illness. He was 92.

“When I think of Walter Cronkite, I think of his high journalism standards, integrity—but most of all his humanity,” CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric, said in a statement Friday night. “I think he was so trusted because he exhibited a sense of purpose and compassion, night after night. He was the personification of excellence.”

“We trusted him and that trust was well founded,” added ABC News fixture Barbara Walters. “He was also a jolly and supportive friend. He will be missed by each of us individually who knew him and by the whole country who loved him.”

As anchor of the CBS Evening News from 1962-1981, the grandfatherly Cronkite—known as “Uncle Walter”—was a nightly dinnertime presence for the prewired, precable nation, walking viewers through the tumult and triumphs of the time: the assassination of President Kennedy, the first-ever manned moon landing, the Vietnam War.

“Old anchormen, you see, don’t fade away,” Cronkite said on his final telecast. “They just keep coming back for more.”

ZAC AND CHARLIE TUNA PICTURED AT MARINA DEL REY LAST JUNE 2008, JUST BEFORE HE SET OUT ON HIS RECORD SETTING ADVENTURE TO BECOME THE YOUNGEST PERSON TO EVER SAIL AROUND THE WORLD SOLO!

A second stadium worker, 23-year-old British man Charles Prow, passed away overnight at a hospital in Marseilles. Authorities have identified Thursday’s victim as 53-year-old French worker Charles Criscenzo.

The injury tally has also increased since Thursday: Officials now say eight people were seriously hurt, while more than 30 people suffered minor injuries and shock from the event.

In addition to confirming the second death, French authorities Friday, opened a manslaughter investigation into the stadium’s collapse. Initial hearings will take place Sunday or Monday.

Meanwhile, a tearful Madonna paid moving tribute to the workers during her concert in Udine, Italy, Friday night, reiterating her devastation at the loss

HERE’S A VIEW FROM INSIDE THE TRAIN TWO YEARS AGO AT THE “MOONERS”!

CHARLIE AND L.A. CITY COUNCILMAN DENNIS ZINE AT WARNER PARK 2009 SHOW!

JUST PART OF 50,000 PEOPLE ARRIVING AT WARNER PARK FOR FREE JULY 4TH SHOW!

L.A. CITY COUNCILMAN DENNIS ZINE, KEYES MOTORS SPONSOR REPRESENTATIVE, L.A. COUNTY SUPERVISOR ZEV YAROSLAVSKY, CHARLIE TUNA AND VALLEY CULTURAL CENTER PRESIDENT/CEO JAMES W. KINSEY III!

CHARLIE TUNA CHECKS OUT THE CROWD ON THE HUNTINGTON BEACH PIER FROM HIS K-EARTH 101 REMOTE BROADCAST BOOTH ON THE 4TH OF JULY!

PART OF THE HUNTINGTON BEACH PIER CROWD SETTING UP FOR THE FIREWORKS!

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After 14 days in theaters, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” has hit the $300 million mark in U.S. ticket sales—second only to last summer’s “The Dark Knight”, which went on to become the second-biggest grossing film of all time behind 1997′s “Titanic”.

By way of comparison, 2007′s original “Autobots vs. Decepticons” battle raked in $319.2 million during its entire domestic theatrical run, and $700 million worldwide.

Since its June 24 release, the very noisy Revenge of the Fallen, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, has grossed $600 million internationally, according to BoxOfficeMojo.com. About 8 percent of the total comes from IMAX screenings.

The Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office says it’s holding onto a section of the late King of Pop’s brain as part of its investigation into how he died. Because toxicology tests take several weeks and are not yet complete, a coroner spokesman says pathologists need to wait for the organ to harden before they can conduct neuropathology tests to help determine what caused Jackson’s apparent cardiac arrest and subsequent death.

Investigators have focused on the possibility that Jackson accidentally overdosed on a potent anesthetic, and a thorough examination of brain tissue might shed some light on what drugs were in his system.

The coroner’s office has told Jackson relatives they have the option of burying Michael without the missing portion of his brain, or they can wait until tests are done and the tissue returned to its original place before finally laying him to rest.

That could explain why relatives have yet to hold a burial service for the late pop star.

The whereabouts of his remains are not known, having disappeared from public view following Tuesday’s poignant public memorial; however, a family friend said Michael would be back at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, where a private funeral service was held earlier Tuesday.

Jackson’s death certificate, signed by his sister La Toya, was also issued Tuesday, listing the cause of death as “deferred.” A burial permit filed with the Los Angeles County’s Office of Vital Records has not been made public.

The week after his death, Michael Jackson sold a whopping 800,000 albums—double the week earlier—easily outperforming any new pop releases and accounting for the entire Top 10 of the catalog chart.

Number Ones led the way with 339,000 copies, followed by Thriller with 187,000 for the week ended Sunday—the first full week since his June 25 death—according to the stat-meisters at Nielsen SoundScan.

The closest any new release came was Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 31, which topped the Billboard 200 chart with sales of 169,000.

Part of the reason behind the sales spike is availability. Most retailers sold out of their existing inventories in the days immediately after Jackson’s death, which led to a major shift toward digital sales. This week, with supplies replenished, physical albums made up 82 percent of the overall sales, compared to 43 percent in the previous sales frame.

For the second week in a row, Jackson sold more than 2 million total digital tracks—no other artist has even sold 1 million copies in single frame before.

On the Hot Digital Songs chart, Jackson claimed five of the Top 10, with “Man in the Mirror” leading the way at No. 2 with 159,000 downloads. Only the Black Eyed Peas accounted for more, with 215,000 downloads of the current Hot 100 chart-topper “I Gotta Feeling.”

Jackson fever is so hot that even new Lakers addition Ron Artest is getting into the action, selecting the number 37 for his jersey in honor of Thriller’s 37 weeks at No. 1.

Roughly 19,500 people—not all of them ticket holders—packed Los Angeles’ Staples Center to share in a star-studded musical and spoken-word tribute to Michael Jackson, who died suddenly June 25 at age 50, pretty much shocking the world in the process.

The hearse carrying the late King of Pop arrived at Staples Center about 15 minutes before the tribute event was scheduled to start. Due to some unexplained hindrances, the memorial did not get under way until just after 10:30 a.m. Organizers were said to be handing out passes to some lucky members of the crowd outside to fill empty seats that belonged to ticket winners who weren’t able to actually make it to Staples.

Another 5,500 people watched the event live on jumbo TV screens at Nokia Theater across the street. The LAPD estimates that only about 1,000 people showed up to hang around outside the secured area.

While the first few rows in front of the blue-lit, wreath-ringed stage sat empty before the family’s arrival, Robinson stepped out to read messages from Diana Ross and former South African President Nelson Mandela.

“I am trying to find closure. I want you to know that even though I am not there at the Staples Center, I am there in my heart,” Ross said in absentia. “I have decided to pause and be silent. This feels right for me. Michael was a personal love of mine, a treasured part of my world, part of the fabric of my life in a way that I can’t seem to find words to express.

“Michael wanted me to be there for his children,” she added, “and I will be there if they ever they need me. I hope today brings closure for all those who loved him.”

After Robinson spoke, silence prevailed in the darkened arena for another 15 minutes as the family—who came straight from a private funeral service at Forest Lawn cemetery in the Hollywood Hills—made their way in and took their seats alongside VIPs such as Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Jennifer Hudson and Sean “Diddy” Combs. Jackson’s brothers each wore matching black suits, yellow ties, sunglasses and a single, sparkly white glove.

At approximately 10:32 a.m., sounds of a piano and a choir singing the gospel “Soon and Very Soon” filled the air as Jackson’s flower-covered coffin was wheeled in front of the stage. “First and foremost, this man was our brother, our son, a father and a friend,” began Pastor Lucius Smith, who took the position that Jackson will never really be gone “as long as we remember him.”

The first performance of the morning was given by Mariah Carey and longtime vocal collaborator Trey Lorenz, who teamed with the diva in 1992—and again today—to redo the Jackson 5′s “I’ll Be There.”

A visibly emotional Queen Latifah spoke next and offered up a poem, “We Had Him,” penned by Maya Angelou for the occasion. “Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana’s Blackstar Square, in Johannesburg and Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama, and Birmingham, England, we are missing Michael Jackson. But we do know we had him, and we are the world.”

Motown Records founder Berry Gordy, after recounting tales of discovering the Jackson 5, playing family softball games in California and, time after time, being awestruck by Michael’s inimitable talent, ultimately concluded, “The more I talk and think about Michael Jackson, I think ‘The King of Pop’ is not big enough for him. I simply think he is the greatest entertainer who ever lived.”

“We Are the World” cowriter Lionel Richie crooned the Commodores’ “Jesus Is Love,” and following a taped montage of Jackson moments, magazine covers and music, Stevie Wonder sat behind a piano and spoke out for the first time about his friend’s death.

“This is a moment that I wished I didn’t live to see come. But as much as I can say that and mean it, I do know that God is good, and I do know that as much as we may feel—and we do—that we need Michael here with us, God must have needed him far more.” The Motown hitmaker, a child star himself at 13, then played “I Never Dreamed You’d Leave in September,” singing, “Michael, why didn’t you stay?”

Magic Johnson, speaking alongside Kobe Bryant, lightened the mood, bringing the house down with an anecdote about sharing a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken with Jackson—”the greatest moment of my life,” he teased—who he said made him “a better point guard and a better basketball player” because he got to watch Jackson being “the greatest entertainer ever.”

Bryant reminded us that Jackson had made the Guinness Book of Records for most charities supported by a pop star—a fact that fell by the wayside in the later portion of the artist’s life as bolder, more salacious headlines took over.

Before some rousing remarks from Sharpton “It was Michael Jackson who brought blacks and whites and Asians and Latinos together!”, Jennifer Hudson fronted a harmonious performance of “Will You Be There,” which featured a minute-long Jackson voice-over.

Brooke Shields offered up healthy servings of tears and laughter as she told stories about growing up with Jackson, “two little kids having fun. To us, it was the most natural and easiest of friendships. I was 13 when we met and from that day on our friendship grew. Michael always knew that he could count on me to support him or be his date, and that we would have fun no matter where we were. We had a bond,” she continued, starting to tear up. “And maybe it was because we both understood what it was like to be in the spotlight from a very young age. I used to tease him and I’d say, ‘You know, I started when I was 11 months old. You’re a slacker. You were, what, 5?’ Both of us needed to be adults very early.”

John Mayer played guitar on a rendition of “Human Nature,” his mournful solo doing the talking for him, and Usher broke down toward the end of his heart-tugging performance of Jackson’s “Gone Too Soon.”

Jermaine Jackson sang what was said to be Michael’s favorite song, “Smile,” provoking plenty of tears in the process.

The remaining speakers—Martin Luther King Jr.’s children, Martin Luther King III and Bernice A. King, and Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee of Texas—focused on Jackson’s humanity, philanthropy and what seemed to be an endless concern for others, especially those in need.

Bernice King told about Jackson calling her mother, Coretta Scott King, when she was on her deathbed. “She listened as he said to her he had been praying on his knees every day for her…that, to him, she was America’s true royalty.”

A medley of “We Are the World” and “Heal the World”—as they were being rehearsed for Jackson’s London shows—got people on their feet as the memorial drew to a close, but it turned out the most bittersweet tears were yet to come.

Brothers Jermaine and Marlon thanked the fans for sharing the day with them. Marlon, who openly wept as he spoke, told of the fun he and Michael used to have as kids but also said he was struggling to grasp the loss. “I stand here trying to find words of comfort, solace, trying to understand why the Lord has taken our brother to return home from such a short visit here on Earth. Michael, when you left us, a part of me went with you, and a part of you will live forever within me, but also a part of you will live forever within all of us,” Marlon said.

Then Janet Jackson led Michael’s daughter, Paris, to the microphone, and for the first time ever we heard one of Jackson’s kids speak. “Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine,” the 11-year-old said, fighting back sobs. “And I just wanted to say, I loved him so much.”

FUN, FOOD, FIREWORKS ALL PART OF ANOTHER FREE 4TH AT WARNER PARK!

LAST YEAR, CONGRESSMAN BRAD SHERMAN (L) SURPRISED CHARLIE TUNA WITH A PRESENTATION OF A FLAG FLOWN OVER THE UNITED STATES CAPITOL, COMPLETE WITH A CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY! COUNCILMAN DENNIS ZINE (R).

Family, friends and fans of Michael Jackson are finally being given the opportunity to celebrate the life of the King of Pop. Friday morning, the details for the Michael Jackson Public Memorial Service were unveiled by Los Angeles officials, Jackson reps and AEG Live, which is hosting the event. As previously reported, the memorial will take place at 10 a.m. on Tuesday at Los Angeles’ Staples Center.

“It is the family’s wish to create a service and celebration that all of Michael’s fans around the world can be a part of,” said AEG CEO and President Tim Leiweke.

The event will be available on a worldwide feed and free to air on any network. “We encourage you to watch the memorial from your home,” said Jan Perry, a city councilwoman. There are only a lucky few who will be able to attend the memorial.

A total of 17,500 tickets will be made available to the general public—11,000 for inside the Staples Center and the remaining 6,500 who will be able to watch from across the street at the Nokia Center, which will be filled with huge-screen TVs streaming the live event.

To be eligible for tickets, fans must log on to StaplesCenter.com and register between now and 6 p.m. on Saturday, July 4th. On Sunday, 8,750 names will be drawn randomly and each will receive two tickets. Ticketmaster will then be distributing tickets and wristbands to those chosen few on Monday.

The Staples Center Website has received over 500 million hits, slowing down the site considerably and preventing some fans from being able to register right away. AEG reps say they have added another server to help with the high volume of traffic.

City and police officials were adamant that those without a ticket and a wristband will not be allowed anywhere near the event. Ken Sunshine, the Jackson family spokesman, thanked fans for their outpouring of support throughout the past week. The memorial, he said, is about “accommodating as many fans as possible. It is all about the fans.”

In a statement Friday, the Jackson family said: “It was our wish to allow as many of Michael’s fans to be part of the memorial, and we wish to thank everyone for their support and understanding at this difficult time.”

While some details of the memorial were addressed, there was no word on whether, as rumored, there would be performances from Justin Timberlake, Usher or P. Didd. Sunshine would only say the memorial is “still being developed, but no details will be provided.”

Asked about the possibility of scalpers or people selling counterfeit tickets, Sunshine said, “I’m hoping that people have dignity…We’re planning this to try and avoid people who would stoop to those depths.” Jackson’s body is currently at Forest Lawn Memorial Park and Mortuaries in Hollywood Hills awaiting a private funeral, details of which have not been disclosed.

Meanwhile, the grounds of Jackson’s former home, Neverland Ranch, will be closed to the media and well-wishers beginning tonight and remain off-limits until after the funeral services “to focus on the Tuesday celebration of Michael’s life,” a ranch spokeswoman said.

Law enforcement sources have reportedly recovered a potent anesthetic from inside Michael Jackson’s Holmby Hills home.

Propofol, which is generally used for surgeries and clinical procedures, was one of many drugs uncovered at the home, according to the Los Angeles Times. It is commonly referred to as Diprivan and is administered by IV for anesthesia. In as little as 40 seconds, the drug can cause the patient to experience hypnosis, the publication noted.

Officials have confirmed that prescription drugs were found in the home, but declined to specify exactly what they were. The DEA has joined the investigation.

Earlier this week, former Jackson nutritionist Cherilyn Lee claimed that she warned the entertainer about taking certain drugs, just five days before his death. She claimed Jackson said he was struggling with insomnia and virtually begged her to give him Diprivan. “‘Find me an anesthesiologist—I don’t care how much money they want—find me an anesthesiologist to be with me here overnight and give me this IV,’ ” Lee quoted Jackson during an ABC News interview.

The nutritionist said that she told Jackson the medicine could have lethal effects, including cardiac arrest—which Jackson apparently died from on June 25. “I said, ‘This is not a safe medicine, please don’t take this,’ ” Lee told the network.

As the investigation continues into the death of music’s biggest icon, the city of Los Angeles is preparing for Jackson’s memorial service Tuesday at the Staples Center.

A judge has postponed next week’s custody hearing until July 13 at the request of Rowe’s attorney, according to the Los Angeles Superior Court public information officer. Matters pertaining to Jackson’s estate will still be addressed at the originally scheduled hearing on July 6.

At a press conference Thursday, attorney Eric George said that Rowe “has not reached a final decision on pending custody,” and she has chosen to keep silent “out of respect for Michael’s children.”

It would be a “distortion of the truth” to say she is going after custody, George said, adding that, when his client makes a decision, the media will be notified.

Debbie Rowe may have not been part of her kids’ lives—and gone unmentioned in her ex’s will—but she’s apparently not going away quietly when it comes to the two children she had with Michael Jackson.

Rowe’s lawyer will attend Monday’s custody hearing to make a legal play for custody of 12-year-old Prince Michael and 11-year-old Paris. Per Michael’s wishes, the two children have been in the care of Michael’s mother, Katherine Jackson, since his untimely death last week. “They are my flesh and blood. I’m going after my children,” Rowe told KNBC, adding that she and Jackson “had an agreement” but “he didn’t keep his end.”

Rowe also said she’d be open to raising Jackson’s third child, 7-year-old Blanket, as well. And she plans to seek a restraining order against the King of Pop’s father, Joe Jackson, to keep him away from the children.

Contrary to tabloid reports that Prince and Paris were conceived via donor egg and sperm outside the womb, her attorney has adamantly insisted Rowe is the biological mother of Prince and Paris. Blanket’s biological mother has never been revealed.

The former dermatologist’s nurse was excluded from Jackson’s estate, with the will stipulating that Katherine should raise his spawn. And should the 79-year-old family matriarch be unwilling or unable to do so, then old friend Diana Ross would be granted custody. In fact, Jackson only name-checked Rowe by expressly stating she would not be getting any money or property from his estate.

Of course, the will was written in 2002, two years after she received a multimillion-dollar divorce payout in which she agreed to relinquish all parental rights.

While it’s unclear whether Rowe will seek guardianship or visitation rights, there is a slight chance the Jackson children could be split up. “Courts do split up kids—not infrequently—in blended families when one parent dies,” says Scott Altman, associate dean at the University of Southern California’s law school. “It wouldn’t be shocking if the court wanted to keep these kids together.”

Monday’s family court session will attempt to sort all these issues out. Until then, Katherine maintains temporary custody of all three children.

Karl Malden, the acting great who worked the Waterfront with Marlon Brando and patrolled “The Streets of San Francisco” with Michael Douglas, died Wednesday at 97. Malden passed away from natural causes at his home in the Brentwood section of Los Angeles, his family announced.

While Gen Xers may know Malden best as the guy who warned us not to leave home without an American Express card in a series of 1980s TV commercials, he was one of the most respected stars in Hollywood.

Known for his tough-guy persona and crooked nose, Malden rose through the Hollywood ranks with fellow Method man Brando, winning a Supporting Actor Oscar as best buddy Mitch to the latter’s Stanley Kowalski in 1951′s A Streetcar Named Desire.

Michael Jackson so desperate to get some shut-eye that he ignored the advice of his nurse when it came to sedatives? While we won’t know definitively for several weeks, when toxicology tests come back, the King of Pop’s nutritionist, Cherilyn Lee, is making the media rounds claiming she warned Jackson about certain drugs just five days before his sudden death from cardiac arrest.

In an interview with ABC News, Lee, also a registered nurse, said Jackson was suffering terribly from insomnia and practically begged her for Diprivan, a general anesthetic normally administered in hospitals to knock people out before surgeries and not routinely prescribed to patients with sleeping disorders.

“He said, ‘Find me an anesthesiologist—I don’t care how much money they want—find me an anesthesiologist to be with me here overnight and give me this IV,’ ” she recounted.

Lee said the 50-year-old singer complained his body felt cold on one side and hot on the other. She said she warned him about potentially lethal side effects, including cardiac arrest if combined with other prescription medication. “I said, ‘This is not a safe medicine, please don’t take this. I look at you, Michael, and I’ve been around you long enough now, I love you as family. I would not give this to anyone.’ ”

A practitioner of holistic medicine, Lee said she has worked with many celebrities in L.A. She met Jackson in January and, she says, mainly treated his children for colds.

While Jackson seemed to be adamant about getting his hands on Diprivan, Lee admitted she never actually saw him take the drug. When she asked him what doctor may have prescribed him the sleeping agent in the past, he wouldn’t say.

Investigators for the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office have confirmed that they removed prescription medication from Jackson’s rented Holmby Hills house where he passed away, but refused to identify the drugs.

Media speculation has focused on Dr. Conrad Murray, Jackson’s personal physician, who discovered the superstar unconscious in bed and administered CPR.

Edward Chertoff, an attorney for Murray, issued a statement over the weekend denying that his client gave the entertainer certain painkillers, specifically Demerol and OxyContin (which had been named as possible causes of death in various news reports) but making no mention of Diprivan

The documents haven’t been filed yet, but that hasn’t stopped the paper shuffling. Reports are circulating that Michael Jackson’s 2002 will gives custody of his three children to his mother, Katherine, and stipulates that his sizable assets be placed in a private trust.

An attorney for Katherine and Joe Jackson, who went to court Monday to request that they be placed in control of their son’s estate, said this afternoon that they are reviewing the will and expect to file it in probate court shortly.

A judge awarded Katherine temporary custody of Michael’s three children and allowed her to retrieve some of his personal items from an undisclosed third party.

The will, apparently drawn up in 2002 by longtime Jackson pal and attorney John Branca, names Branca and music exec John McClain as executors.

Farrah Fawcett’s last earthly stop was the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels. Around 200 friends, colleagues and family members, including Fawcett’s otherwise incarcerated son, Redmond, gathered Tuesday afternoon for a private funeral honoring the late actress. The cathedral has the capacity to seat 3,000, but the invite-only service was far more intimate.

First among the mourners to arrive were Ryan O’Neal and Alana Stewart, who were both with Fawcett at the hospital when she died. Farrah’s father, James Fawcett; ex-husband Lee Majors and Charlie’s Angels costar Kate Jackson also slipped past list-wielding security guards about an hour before the service was set to begin.

Ernie Hudson, Cheryl Tiegs, romance novelist Jackie Collins, Dynasty villain Joan Collins Gary Shandling, Marla Maples, hairstylist Jose Eber, who created the famous feathered Farrah ‘do, and O’Neal’s daughter Tatum and son Griffin were also in attendance.

O’Neal, who read the 23rd Psalm and several other passages, was one of the pallbearers who escorted Fawcett’s flower-draped casket into the church shortly before the funeral’s 4 p.m. start time.

Stewart and oncologist Dr. Lawrence Piro delivered eulogies.

It was a tribute to the King of Pop in the place where it all began. Thousands of Michael Jackson fans began lining up Tuesday morning at the legendary Apollo Theater in Harlem to pay their respects to the singer, who died suddenly last Thursday from cardiac arrest at 50.

The public memorial began with a eulogy by longtime Jackson family friend the Rev. Al Sharpton. “Michael made young men and women all over the world imitate us,” Sharpton said. “Before Michael, we were limited and ghettoized. But Michael put on a colorful military outfit, he pulled his pants up, he put on the one glove, and he smashed the barriers of segregated music.”

Groups of approximately 600 people, many holding photos and cheering, were let into the historic venue at a time while DJs spun Jackson music. There, they shuffled past the stage where a black fedora with a white glove draped across its brim rested atop a lone stool and watched a video tribute to the iconic entertainer. They were also able to leave flowers, memorabilia (posters, T-shirts and album covers) and personal notes in his honor.

There was a moment of silence at 5:26 p.m. ET Tuesday—the time when Jackson was declared dead. Shortly after his death, the Gloved One’s devotees started gathering at the Apollo—the venue where the Jackson 5 exploded into world consciousness by winning the theater’s Amateur Night contest in 1967, when Michael was a mere 9-years-old.

And as fans did when James Brown died in 2005, thousands went to the Apollo for an impromptu celebration Thursday, singing, dancing and leaving messages scrawled on walls near the landmark.

Fred Travalena, the Vegas cutup and late-night TV stalwart known as “The Man of a Thousand Faces,” died Sunday after a long battle with cancer. He was 66.

Travalena passed away at his Encino, California, home from non-Hodgkins lymphoma, which he was diagnosed with in 2002. He also was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2003, after which the funnyman spent the next five years in remission before the lymphoma returned last July.

Travalena’s master mimicry ran the gamut from Frank Sinatra, Jack Nicholson, Bugs Bunny, Dr. Ruth, Clint Eastwood and Bruce Springsteen to presidents like JFK and Richard Nixon. He boasted of having nearly 400 voices in his repertoire, and broke them out on everything from The Jetsons and Scooby-Doo to appearances on The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson, Late Show With David Letterman and The New Hollywood Squares. He also made the requisite appearances on Love Boat and Fantasy Island.

Travalena is survived by his wife of 39 years, Lois, two sons and a granddaughter.

Rather than mourn Michael Jackson’s death, the celebrities who took to the stage at the 2009 BET Awards celebrated the memory of the King of Pop with pumped-up performances, heartfelt words and a surprise appearance by the star’s sister Janet Jackson.

The ceremony, held at the Shrine Auditorium, kicked off with a tribute to young Michael, as ’80s idols New Edition dressed in funky ’70s-era clothes to sing the Jackson 5′s “ABC” and “The Love You Save.”

Host Jamie Foxx emerged wearing an outfit reminiscent of Michael Jackson’s famous “Beat It” gear: red leather jacket, cropped black pants, high white socks and black loafers. The Oscar winner then performed a dance sequence from Jackson’s video, moonwalking (and stumbling) across the stage to honor the pop superstar.

“We are here for the greatest. There’s no need to be sad,” said Foxx to a star-studded audience that included Diddy, Tyra Banks and Lil Wayne.